Sorry for the late updates.The last few months of schooling was a helluva roller coaster ride. October: Midterms, November:Final Assignments December: Final Exams and the cycle will continue soon in the Spring term. For now I just want to take life as it is.No worry and no rush...Chilling in the tropical climate yet in a world totally different from the one I grew up in. Most importantly taking the time off to do thing I love the most, that is to contemplate on life and humanity.
2010 has not been a good year for me.A lot happened in my personal life. I wish the whole year would just disappear from my memory. Yet there it will remain deep in my hippocampus. Only time will heal the wounds. The only thing that keep me going is the fact that academically I did better than I ever did. How did I manage to get such a result despite the high level of stress and deperession I was (maybe am) in ...is much to my own amusement too. I guess I owe it to the greater force beyond me that might be trying to light things up and put genuine smile back in my face.
All I can hope for is 2011 will bring something new and better in my life. A good tequila shot will mark the end of my miserable year and a begining of a new and hopeful year :)
The bliss of the so called "break"
Sometimes I wish I am Willy Wonka
Whew,it has been a while since I updated my blog. It is that time of the year again when assigments start to pile up and every new week is greeted with a midterm. But I am trying to be patient and keep cool. Coz in a few more weeks I will be back in MEXICO wohoooooooooo. Tacos, Quesadillas,Pozoles, Pina Colada and the sunny beach ...here I come :D.
So why I wish I am a candy factory owner? Well I am broke so venturing into business could be profitable. Especially selling candies in North America. Almost all the celebration involves the infamous super sweet tiny blocks of sugar(or corn syrup) with artificial flavouring and sometimes chocolates widely known as CANDIES. On Valentine's boys give girls box of chocolates, on Easter kids hunt for chocolate Easter eggs...Do I have to mention Halloween?, and last but not least candies are popular during Christmas too.
So you see....you can rake in bags full of bucks if you happen to own a candy shop or better still factory. It is almost a staple here in North America. Oh...at the same time you maybe be consider funding a research for diabetes. Trust me, in 30-40 years you will make quite a fortune ;).
Autumn..Give me my Spring back
As you would notice update is slow in my blog. It is the time of the year when assignments and exams steal the 'human' out of me. Everyday is the same routine. Going to school, coming back to assignment, sleep to recharge myself for more schooling the next day. The long weekend was fantastic. Finally a getaway from the mundane life. So I join my friends for a little hike up the Webster's Fall.
The trip was worthwhile. The autumn here in Hamilton is just so beautiful. The golden leaves...the sound of the water flowing.... I wish I could freeze the time and just stay there forever. No matter how badly I wish I couldnt run from life problems. The trip does give me a bit of room to reflect on life and things that has been happening to far though. I just need time to heal and let things go...so I can give way to a new beginning.
Like Anyone Would Care
Some says pop out songs in blogs are annoying. But for me the songs in my blog represents what I feel...and sometimes contain hidden clues to what's going on in my life. This song now that you are listening to is called the Rip by Portishead. The lyrics are :
As she walks in the room
Centered and tall
Hesitating once more
And as I take on myself
And the bitterness I felt
I realise that love flows
Interpretation:
The girl is talking about herself. She is ready to face the one she loves. She is trying to overcome all the bad feelings and anger she has because she know she still has feeling for him. Obviously there is problem in their relationship. Probably he hurted her in some ways.
Wild, white horses
They will take me away
And the tenderness I feel
Will send the dark underneath
Will I follow?
Interpretation:
The chorus represent the battle she has withher own feelings. Whether she would continue to be depressed. Or follow the white horses and leave all the anger behind. White horses represent purity and liberty. She wants to leave the sadness behind but worry she might fall back to it.
Through the glory of life
I will scatter on the floor
Disappointed and sore
And in my thoughts I have bled
For the riddles I've been fed
Another lie moves over
Interpretation
Again worrying about the possibilty that she will not forgive her lover. She knows disappointment is inevitable and worry she may fall back into depression. Whatever her lover did that nearly destroyed her love for him is still fresh and bleeding. But she try to push it away as another lie, hoping it will not repeat itself and move on.
Wild, white horses
They will take me away
And the tenderness I feel
Will send the dark underneath
Will I follow?
Wild, white horses
They will take me away
And the tenderness I feel
Will send the dark underneath
Will I follow?
That...readers, is exactly how I feel now. Honestly there is a bit of problem between me and him. But we are still holding on to the last hopes. And see if things would get better as time goes... hopefully. I rather not talk about it for now so please dont ask why and what happened. Just listen to the song.
Of Angels and WIshes
Today in German cinema class we watched a very...philosophical and poetic movie called Wings of Desire. The movie kind of reminds us how things used to be when we are little children. Things are more colourful, more beautiful back then. The main thme, that is Innocence, is represented by presence of angels whom only children could see. I must admit...little tears dropped when I watched this movie. Given the difficult situation I have in my life now I can easily relate to this movie,
There are time I wish I have this kind of unseen companion, an Angel
that will always there to listen whatever my badly injured heart has to pour out.
That will never be bored listening to me over and over again about these burdensome problems I have in my life now.
That will stay by my side until things gets better...
and pat my back though I can barely feel it.
That will not make me feel lost and alone in the world
And give me hope to go on and be strong.
Strangers in The Rain
Woke up into a dark,gloomy rainy day. For strange reason the bed became extra comfortable than usual. There I was, lying and reflecting on the strange dream I just had. About my boyfriend getting pregnant with our baby girl. Wish I can know what that dream means. 8.30 a.m. Too bad I have to get up. Gonna have appointment with my new Spanish tutor in downtown. Though I would like to just stay at home I have to brave myself through the rain.
To cut the story short..I finally reached the designated meeting place...all soaked and wet. Looking around for a guy with shaved head. A number of them passed by, but none look like a legible tutor. Except for one guy, about mid 20s, dressed in black hoody, with Monster in his hand and a back pack. So I tried to make eye contact and smile a little to him. Hoping that he would come and say " So are you Darlene? I am your Spanish tutor Chris". Ten minutes pass but nothing happened. " That is ok," I told myself, " I am 20 minutes earlier perhaps Chris is not here yet".
11:15. That's it I am just going to ask random strangers with shaved head. Either that or write CHRIS on a big card. First target: guy with black hoody. He had been standing here for a good half and hour too so he might be Chris.
Me: Hi I am sorry. Is there by any chance you are Chris?
Guy: No I am not * smiling*. Are on a blind date or something?
Me: Oh no, I am just waiting for my Spanish tutor
Guy: I see. Too bad I dont speak Spanish.
Me: Yeah sorry for asking you but I guess I have to ask all guys with shaved head now. That's how my tutor described himself
Guy: Oh you mean like mine? * lift his cap
Me: Something like yours I guess.
Guy: For a while I thought I was lucky because finally a girl smile at me. And you look really cute too.
Me: Well sorry again about that, really I thought you were my tutor.
Guy: So...what's your name? Why are you learning Spanish?
Me: I am Darlene. Well I always go to Mexico so I thought of learning their language. I am learning German too.
Guy: Oh my family is German, but I dont really know how to speak the language...
So the conversation went on...we talked about ourselves. About schools. About hobbies. About life. We joke at times. Occasionally he asked some guys with shaved head who passed by if they are Chris. Finally...
Guy: You know you are really an interesting person. Hmm...can we hang out sometimes?
Me: *baffled,nearly speechless* Well... I dont know, I am a very busy person. I have assignemnts, class and dancing most part of the time. Honestly I am a nerd
Guy: But you dont look like one. But well I agree, we are all nerd in the inside.
Silence...
A bunch of guy walking towards us.
Guy: My friend they are coming , but...really you dont want to hang out with me ?
Me: Hmm no.... I dont think so.
Guy: Hmm...well ok then. It's nice meeting you. Enjoy your Spanish lesson. Hope to meet you again soon.
Me: Nice to meet you too and thanks...
So two strangers parted, back to their own life... while the song " If We Ever Meet Again" by Katty Perry played in the air. The End.
A (very rare) Class I Trully,Sincerely Enjoy
I must admit, I had never been so enthusiastic about a class ever in my whole university career. My Antrophology 2W03: Aztecs and Incas class is just...Epic. Most of the other students in the class came in with tired and worned out faces but I enthusiastically sat in the frontmost seat with a wide smile. Mind you...the class is 7 pm -10 pm every Wednesday night. 
So why I love the Aztecs? I guess the primary reason is because I have been to Mexico. I am familiar with the Aztec cultures and have been to an ancient pre-Aztec pyramid, Teotihuacan. So I can understand and relate the things the prof says to my own experience. It is the same feeling a Malaysian would feel when they are taking a Malaysian History class in their respective university. Though I must admit the Aztecs' history is more interesting :P. 
That doesn't mean I don't enjoy any of my Political Science class. I like lectures on political issues...I have always been lucky to have super cute TAs. This year my poli sci TA is a dashing, hunky Greek guy with a cute Greek accent.But somehow this Aztec class has become some sort of an escapade from the mundane topics I encounter in political science.Anthropology 2W03 is just...unique. There is so many interesting thing to learn. I even discovered the area my boyfriend and his family live,Azcapotzalco(the place of the red ants),was an ancient capital of the Tepanec people. And I just discovered the Metro station 5 minutes from his house was named after an ancient Tepanec leader of Azcapotzalco called Tezozomoc. How cool is that? While I was there I never know all this until I did my readings a few days ago.
Contrasting my hunky poli sci TA, the Anthro prof is in no way good looking. But the class itself sort of...takes me back to ancient Mexico for 3 hours every Wednesday. Too bad it is only for one term....I will really miss it. At least I already promise myself to take a Pre-Columbian Mayan class next year. So...am looking forward for another exciting class next semester :).